My Super Epic 25 Facebook Things.

July 23, 2009

1. My full name is Benjamin Daryl Shapiro. I was born in Hillsborough, California in September of 1980. My family moved into the house I grew up in on 510 Darrell Road in 1978. My parent’s swear the fact we lived on Darrell Road had nothing to do with my middle name being Daryl. I still don’t believe them.

2. I give myself a solid 4.5 on the OCD scale. I need to have my room and desk organized how I like it. I also arrange the silverwear before eating. I’m meticulous about picking out my clothes in the morning. On the other hand, the inside of my my car is generally a mess and I don’t care what anyone else’s room or desk look like…except you Jarrod. You’re a freaking slob ;-) .

3. After reading Jeff’s hysterically emo 25 things, I thought, depending on your definition,that I’ve been in love somewhere between 1.5 and 8 times. Twice with roommates, if ya’ know what I mean.

4. I have been questioned by the Boston Police without wearing any pants.

5. I had 6 ear surgeries as a child. The men in my family have a history of male patten baldness. Because of these facts, I am very particular about who I let touch my ears or hair.

6. Lisa is my best friend from college. We met the last day of pre-freshman orientation. She asked me if I knew anyone from Rhode Island. I didn’t. She then told me that she didn’t know anyone from California. I stared blankly at her not knowing what to say. To break the silence, she asked if I wanted to be her friend. I said “ummm, yes?”. We still drunk dial each other a fair amount. Her husband Leigh is not psyched.

7. The personalities between me and my two sisters covers the gambit of possible differences. The best way I can describe how different we are is: one portfolio manager with long straight hair, one 3rd grade teacher with very curly hair, and some dude that’s just happy he still has hair.

8. Will Clark was my hero growing up. I don’t like anyone who can’t at least respect the type of ball player he was.

9. Fanatic doesn’t even describe what type of Cal fan I am. We’ve gone my entire life (x2) without winning a football or basketball conference championship. Anyone who knows me well knows one of the quickest way to piss me off is to question my fanhood or by pointing out that I didn’t actually go to Cal. One one hand, I think it shows how loyal I am. I On the other hand, think this proves I’m a touchy and stubborn SOB.

10. I lived in Texas for 2.5 years. I met some great folks but learned how truly terrible I am with moderation. Let’s just say I have been thrown (not tossed but thrown) from a mechanical bull multiple times in a night. Thanks for that CJ.

11. I had a herniated L5-S1 disc in my lower back. See # 3, #4 and #10.

12. I originally learned to play the guitar because my cousin learned to play and I wanted to have something in common with him. It’s one of the best things I’ve ever done. Now all of you should sign up for the VIP list on http://www.strumschool.com. Yes, it’s a shameless plug. It’s MY 25…deal with it!

13. I decided to go to business school because I was too aimless to pick a more finite major. I went into marketing as my concentration because someone told me that they were the easiest classes with the most hot girls. I consider both of these decisions to be important and examples of my simplistic genius.

14. I’m a registered Independent because I don’t believe in the party system. If George Washington said parties were a bad idea, who am I to disagree?

15. I write songs which I think are somewhere between ok and pretty good. I rarely ever play them for people who know me b/c I’m am nervous about how they’ll think of me after. Yes, it’s a lameass cop out. I always say I’m going to play more in public but never really have.

16. I’ve been in 39 US states (West Virginia is not one of them even though I hear it’s the best Virginia). I’ve also visited, Jamaica, Canada, Mexico, Spain, Italy, London, Ireland, France, the Czech Republic and San Bruno.

17. I have a tremendous amount of state pride. California kicks ass! Anyone who doesn’t think agree is too dumb get in anyway. Seriously, we let everyone in to California. EVERYONE!!!

18. I love talking about music almost as much as I love listening to it. I also love talking sports as much or more than actually playing them. I think the moral of the story here is I just like talking.

19. I’ve never seen any of the Star Wars Movies and I don’t really care.

20. Fire hydrants will not move out of your way, no matter how much you want them too (D’oh!).

21. My prize possession is a 1968 Gibson Hummingbird. I told my roommate, “if there is ever a fire in this apartment, get my guitar out. I don’t care if you make it…just get the guitar to safety”. He lit the apartment on fire the next week. I wasn’t wearing pants at the time of the fire. I brought the guitar to safety and then got dressed.

22. In college I was known to drunk dial girls I wanted to make out with and scream Sweet Caroline (bah, bah baaaahhh) on their voice mail at the top of my lungs. The point of this thing is to prove I have very little game.

23. I give out lots of nicknames. Some of the best names in my phone are: Mrs. Buttersworth, Dummie, Barky, Naked Guy, Don’t Answer, Don’t Answer (x2), Gunternutz, Cool/Emo/Emma/Mamma, Jaraz, Plaid, Holly Dolly, Billy-Bob, Hick Daddy, Hick Mamma, Senator Morrow, Jeff of Abiline, Easy Mac, Coach Jones, Scottodisantolo, and Morick Had Sex!.

24. The show 24 is awesome. In honor of this being the 24th thing, I’m going to admit that I once added “I call my penis Jack Bauer because it can get in and out on any situation no matter how tight a squeeze” to a list of Jack-ism’s. That list has now been forwarded around the the entire internet multiple times.

25. My Favs: Bob Schneider, Walk the Line, Light Brown M&M’s (RIP), The San Francisco Giants, 1993 Red Ford Explorers, Blue Moon, Pandora, 280, 24, Golden Bears, 5, All Mixed Up, Apple, eBay, San Francisco, Florence, Shirts from London, Socks from Paris, girls with dark hair with light eyes, blue and most of all…YOUR MOM!

IMG_1976


“Great” Moments in USC Football History

July 23, 2009

Another reposted blog…

In the wake of the OJ Simpson Robbery/Kidnapping trial verdict, I thought I would recap all of the relatively recent “happenings” around the USC football program:

OJ Simpson Goes to Jail (FINALLY!):
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/news/story?id=3747669

Another OJ (Mayo) gets into trouble for Recruiting Violations:
http://sports.espn.go.com/ncb/news/story?id=3389049

Mark Sanchez Arrested for Sexual Assault the Second He Walks on Campus:
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2006/writers/stewart_mandel/04/28/usc.sanchez/

Reggie Bush Recruiting/Housing Scandal:
http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/news?slug=cr-bush042306&prov=yhoo&type=lgns

Matt Leinart Knocks Up USC Basketball Team:
http://www.parentdish.com/2006/08/30/matt-leinart-to-be-a-dad/

USC Basketball Player Punches OU player in the Nads:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gu1yzliqlVw

USC Sex Scandal…Starring Starting Running Back Herschel Dennis:
http://boifromtroy.com/?p=2800

…and of course, my favorite….

USC Cheerleader Celebrates Texas’s National Championship Winning Touchdown:

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Complete List of Rock Band Guitar Tabs

July 23, 2009

Republishing a blog that got lost in my transfer from my WordPress.org to .com blog.

Since my roommate bought this game it has pretty much consumed my social life. While pathetic, Rock Band has inspired me to put together the list of guitar tabs from the game.


The Greatest Cube Trashing Ever

January 24, 2008

Who says Corporate America isn’t fun…

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With two people, it took 4 hours to put together. Worth every second.

-b


Will Clark: A San Francisco Sports Legend

January 19, 2008

One of the blogs bay area sports blogs I read (http://sayhey.wordpress.com/) posted this Will Clark video yesterday.

Will was my hero growing up. I played 1st base in little league. I modeled my batting stance after his iconic pre-swing rituals. I even had a life size Will “The Thrill” cutout in my room when I was 13. With the steroid scandals tearing baseball apart from its red stitching, this video reminded of a time when the sport was popular because of the competition, not because of the WWE like Goliaths that play today. Will was the best of the best when the sport was at its best. Here are some interesting stats and great moments related to Will Clark:

Wikipedia Summary:
William Nuschler Clark, Jr. (born March 13, 1964 in New Orleans, Louisiana) is a former first baseman in Major League Baseball best known for his play with the San Francisco Giants from 1986 to 1993. He was recognized by his peers as being one of the best clutch players of his time, and possessed a fiery intensity. He earned the nicknames of “Will the Thrill” (a name given to him by his classmates at Jesuit High School in New Orleans, where he played both varsity baseball and varsity basketball) as well as simply “The Thrill”[1] and “The Natural” because of his natural gifts as a player. Clark was inducted into the College Baseball Hall of Fame in 2006.[2](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Will_Clark)

Fun Stats:
Middle Name: Nuschler
High School: Jesuit (In New Orleans, where my fraternity brother Steve Johnson went)
Drafted: 1982- Kansas City Royals in the 4th round (did not sound); 1985- San Francisco Giants in the 2nd pick overall.
First Minor League AB: Home Run of Fernando Valenzuela
Games Played in 1988:
162/162
Life Time Batting Ave:
.303
Post Season Batting Average:
.333
Times in The Top-5 MVP Balloting:
4 timed (2nd- 1989)
First Major League AB
: Home Run of Nolan Ryan (All time strike out leader)
Career Earnings: $54,221,863 ($60,000 in 1986)
Accomplishments: College Hall of Fame Inductee, Member of the 1984 gold medal winning Olympic team, 6-time All Star, 2-time Silver Slugger, Gold Glove, Bay Area Sports Hall of Fame Inductee, 1989 NL-ALCS MVP

I would say Will’s career highlight was leading the Giants from being a 100 loss team in 1985 to a World Series team in 1989. Check out the iconic series clinching play/celebration in 1989. This might be my new dance move…Both arms up into a full force whole body fist pump:

Will was the total package. Not only was he a perennial all star with the Giants in the late 80′s but check out how good he was great with the media. Notice here in the 1989 NL-MVP post game award ceremony. He stops the interview to thank Chevrolet for being a sponsor. He noted the great play of the other team, specifically his peer at 1st base (Mark Grace). Shit, he even knew what charity he was donating the “Astrovan” he was awarded for his great play.

Here is a video where Will is is featured as part of the renaissance of the Giants:

First of all, if you want to know something about Will Clark collectibles http://www.thrill22.com/ is the place to go. I did some research on the price if “Thrill” collectibles on eBay. Here are some cool things I found:

Will Clark Bobble Head Doll:
Will Clark Bobble Head
Average Selling Price: $85.37

Game Used Bat
Will Clark Game Used Bat
Average Selling Price: $239.86

1987 Topps Rookie Card:
Will Clark Rookie Card
Average Selling Price: $10.50
I have a signed copy of this card on my desk at work.

While I don’t remember the details, I believe Will retired from baseball because he has a child with some sort of physical or mental disability. He sited the need to be a family man as his largest priority. While I doubt he is much of a blog reader, Will, if you ever stumble on this page you should know that even if you’ve gained a little weight and do some part time work for the Giant’s division rival (Arizona Diamondbacks), you’ll always be a hero in the bay area…

Large and In Charge!

Thanks Will!

-b


The Most Hysterical Porno Movie Titles Ever

January 17, 2008

A few weeks back I was driving on Market St. through the Castro with my friend Hilary. A billboards we drove by said something like, “Adult Titles The Whole Family Can Enjoy”. Somehow that sparked a conversation with us listing the funniest porno titles…her favorite being “Glad-He-Ate-Her”.

Obvious blog subject!!!

As it turns out, when you Google “best porn movie names”, one of the top 3 sites is http://www.wikiporno.org/wiki/Best_Porn_Movie_Names . Now, not only is this a list of every movie-based porno title list 400 films long, but the site is called “wikiporno”…That’s some real interneting!

Anyway, I sorted the list and edited out the ones I didn’t understand, didn’t know the movie or that made me gag….here you go:

A Tale of Two Titties   Missionary: Impossible
A Wet Dream on Elm Street   Monster’s Balls
Add Momma To The Train   Monty’s Python and the Holey Girl
Alice in Penisland   Mortal Kumbutt
101 Fornications   Moulin Splooge
2069: A Sex odyssey   Mr. Hollands Anus
21 Hump Street   Much Ado About Fucking
28 Gays Later   Muffy The Vampire Layer
A Beautiful Grind   Mutiny on the Booty
A Bitch Called Wanda   My Bare Lady
A Clockwork Orgy   My Best Friends Wetting
A Few Hard Men   My Big Fat Greek Cock
A League Of Their Moan   My Foul Lady
A Midsummer Night’s Cream   My Three Sluts
A Penis Runs Through It   National Pornographic’s Animal Kingdom
A Rear and Present Danger   Natural Born Thrillers
Ally McFeel   Night Of The Giving Head
Almost Anus   NYDP Blew
American Booty   Object Of My Erection
American History XXX   Oh She’s Eleven
Anal-ize This   Orifice Space
Anus and Andy   Passenger 69
Anus the Menace   Pee-wee Sperming’s Big Adventure
Armaget-it-on   Penetrator 2
As Good As Head Gets   Phallus in Wonderland
Ass Ventura: Smut Detective   Pimped By An Angel
Assablanca   Playmate Of The Apes
Ate Men Out   Pleasure Island
Bang Her Sisters   Pokeahotass
Bare Witch Project   Politically Erect
Bat Dude and Throbin   Poltergash
Battlestar Orgasmica   Poop Dreams
Beaver and Buttface   Porn on the 4th of July
Beaverly Hills Cop   Privates of the Carribean
Ben-Hur Over   Pulp Friction
Between the Cheeks   Pumping Irene
Beverly Hills 9021-HO   Queer and Present Danger
Beverly Hills Cock   Rack Star
Bi-Curious George   Raider of the Lost Ass
Big Trouble in Little Vagina   Rambone
Black Cock Down   Rear And Pleasant Danger
Blast from the Pants   Rebel Without a Condom
Bone Alone   Reservoir Bitches
Bonfire Of The Panties   Riding In Boys With Cars
Booty and the Beast   Riding Miss Daisy
Bruce Allmeaty   Robin’s Wood
Buffy the Vampire Layer   RoboCock
Buttman Forever   Rocky Horny Picture Show
Caddysnatch   Romancing the Bone
Cape Rear   Romeo in Juliet
Captain Hooker and Peter Porn   Saturday Night Beaver
Charlie’s Anals   Schindler’s Fist
Children Of The Cornhole   Schlong Blade
Chinny Chinny Gang Bang   School of Hard Cocks
Choke-A-Hontas   Screw The Right Thing
City Lickers   Scrotal Recall
City Of Anals   Sex Lives of the Rich and Famous
Clittbanger   Sex Toy Story
Close Encounters of the Nude Kind   Sex Trek: The Next Penetration
Cockodile Dun-me   Sex with the City
Crimson Ride   Sexcalibur
Crouching Penis   Sexless In Seattle
Cum and Cummer   Sexorcist
Cumming to America   Shakespeare in Lust
Cunt Hardly Wait   Shavers of the Lost Ass
Dangerous Behinds   Shaving Amy
Das Butt   Shitty Shitty Bang Bang
Dawson’s Crack   Silence of the Loins
Debbie Does Deliverance   Sinderella
Deep Space 69   Single White SheMale
Desperately Spanking Susan   Six Degrees Of Penetration
Dial M for Missionary   Sleazy Rider
Die Hard-on   Sleeping Booty
Dildo Baggins: Lord of the Wangs   Snatch Me If You Can
Divine Secretions of the Vaja Sisterhood   Snow White and the Seven Inches
Doing John Malkovich   Some Like It Big
Done In 60 Seconds   South Pork
DP2: The Mighty Phucks   Sperminator
Drilling Miss Daisy   Sperms of Endearment
E3: The Extra-Testicle   Splatman
Earth Girls Are Sleazy   Spray it Forward
Easy Ride Her   Star Whores
Eating Ryan’s Privates   Star Whores: Return Of The One-Eye
Ed’s Wood   Starship Wankers
Edward Penishands   Starsky & Hump
Ejacula   Summer of 69ing
Emission Possible   Swallow Hal
Enema of the State   Swallow Man
Erectnophobia   Sweet and Sour Porked
Everybody Does Raymond   Tales from the Clit
Face Jam   Tango and Gash
Fast Times At Deep Crack High   Tea Bagger Vance
Fatal Erection   Teenage Mutant Ninja Dildoes
Feeling Forrester   The 69th Sense
Ferris Bueller Jerks Off   The Air Down There
Field Of Wet Dreams   The Bare Bitch Project
Fill Bill   The Big Sleazy
Flesh Gordon   The Blown Ranger
Florence Hump   The Cum of all Queers
Forrest Hump   The Cunt For Red October
Frankenpenis   The Da Vinci Load
Free My Willy   The Deer Humper
Free Will Humping   The Dirty Dozen Inches
Frisky Business   The Dominatrix Unloaded
Frosty the Blowman   The Empire Likes Crack
FudgePac Man   The Genital’s Daughter
Full Latex Jacket   The Hairy Bitch Project
Full Metal Jackoff   The Howard Sperm Show
G.I. Came   The Hunt for Miss October
Gangbangs Of New York   The Iron Giant Vibrator
Genital Hospital   The Italian Blow Job
Geranalmo!   The Joy Suck Club
Get Harder   The Knights Of Cumalot
Ghostbangers   The Last Anal Hero
Girls On The Wood   The Laying of the Shrew
Girlz n the Hood   The Legend in Bagger’s Pants
Glad-He-Ate Her   The Little Spermaid
Gonad the Barbarian   The Load Warrior
Good Will Humping   The Loin King
Great Sexpectations   The Long Ranger
Hairy Movie   The Lust Boat
Hairy Pooter and the Sorcerer’s Bone   The Man With the Golden Penis
Happy Getsmore   The Mask of Porno
Homo Alone   The Naked Bun
Horny Python and the Bony Tail   The Next Penetration
How Stella Got Her Tube Packed   The Object of My Erection
How to Screw a Guy in Ten Minutes   The Penetrator
Howard the Fuck   The Pourne Identity
Hump Up The Volume   The Queer Hunter
Humped Back at Notre Dame   The Replacement Drillers
I Cream on Jeannie   The Rodfather
I Know What You Did With The Plumber   The Screwman Show
In and Out in Beverly Hills   The Sex Family Robinson
In Diana Jones and the Temple of Poon   The Sex Files
Inspect Her Gadget   The Sexorcist
Intercourse With a Vampire   The Shawwank Redemption
Invasion of the Booby Snatchers   The Silence Of The Tramps
Itty Bitty Gang Bang   The Sixth Inch
Jack/Off   The Slutty Professor
James Bond: Goldenshower   The Sorpornos
Jungle Beaver   The T & A Team
Kinky Business   The Temple Of Poon
Laid in Japan   The Usual Sexpects
Laid in Manhattan   The Whole Nine Inches
Lap Dances with Wolves   The Whore of the Worlds
Last Action Whore   The Wonder Rears
Lawrence of a Labia   The XXX Files
Legally Blown   There’s Something About Mary’s Vagina
Legs Wide Open   Thighs Wide Shut
Legs Wide Shut   Threesomes Company
License To Thrill   Throbbin’ Hood
Lickboxer III   Tight Club
Little Shop of Whores   Tits A Wonderful Life
Looking for Mr. Goodsex   Titty in Pink
Lord of the Cock Rings   Titty Lickers
Lost in Penetration   To Drill a Mockingbird
Lust in Space   To Live and Shave in LA
Lust of the Mohicans   Top Bum
Malcolm XXX   Twin Cheeks
Married With Hormones   Varsity Blows
Mary Bobbings   Waiting To XXXhale
Mating for Guffman   When Harry Ate Sally
Men In Black Women   White Girls Can’t Fuck
Mickey Blue Balls   Whore Of The Worlds
Mighty Dicks   Willie Wanker At The Fudge Packing Factory
Miracle on 69th Street   Womb Raider
Mission Erotica   XXX-Men
Missionary Impossible   You’ve Got Male!

-b


Introduing the San Francisco Music Exchange

January 17, 2008

Looking for a great way to find new music? Why not get the hookup from while growing your social network…

Join the San Francisco Music Exchange!

Here’s your ticket to getting in “the know” about the best tunes around:

  • Each member is responsible a making a for the club the entire club.
  • The mixes must be a minimum of 10 songs.
  • Mixes must include liner notes w/ mix theme, song, artist, and any details for why the song was chosen.
  • Everyone is encouraged to differentiate and personalize their mix to represent their taste and personality.
  • The person making the mix is responsible for distribution (mailing list will be provided).

The group will consist of between 12 to 24 people, (1-2 mixes per month). In addition to mix distribution, depending on the level of interest in the group, the book club type thing is always an option. This means group members would get together, chat about the music, do a pot luck, and most likely get a little drunk.

The founders of this group are professional/Silicon Valley types…yes, I am one of them. We are looking for cool/professional/responsible people for this club.

If interested, please click reply to my craigslist post (http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/grp/541431066.html) with a little bit about yourself. Be sure to include your name, contact info, occupation and musical preferences. This information will not be shared outside the group.

You can also check out my the web page I made with Google Page Creator: http://sfmusicexchange.googlepages.com/home

Once we have enough people, we will hold a meet-’n-greet somewhere in Russian Hill.

Rock on!

-b


The 200 Best Athlete Nicknames Ever

January 14, 2008

I’m Sure I missed a bunch of good ones, but here’s the list I came up with…ENJOY!

Player Nickname
1 Adam Dunn Donkey
2 Adam Jones Pac Man
3 Alex Rodriguez A-Rod
4 Allen Iverson AI
5 Andre Dawson The Hawk
6 Andre Rison Bad Moon
7 Andrei Kerilenko AK-47
8 Andres Galarraga Big Cat
9 Anfernee Hardaway Penny
10 Anthony Thomas The A-Train
11 Anthony Webb Spud
12 Avery Johnson The Little General
13 Babe Ruth The Great Bambino
14 Barron Davis Boom-Dizzle
15 Ben Roethlisberger Big Ben
16 Bernard Hopkins The Executioner
17 Bill Bradley Dollar Bill
18 Bob Knight The General
19 Bryant Reeves Big Country
20 Carltion Fisk Pudge
21 Carnell Williams Cadillac
22 Cecil Fielder Big Daddy
23 Chad Johnson Ocho Cinco
24 Charles Barkley The Round Mound of Rebound
25 Chauncy Billups Mr. Big Shot
26 Chris Bosh CB4
27 Chris Webber C-Webb
28 Clyde Drexler The Glide
29 Covelli Crisp Coco
30 Craig Claxton Speedy
31 Daisuke Matsuzaka Dice-K
32 Dale Earnheardt Sr The Intimidator
33 Dan Majerle Thunder
34 Daron Blaylock Mookie
35 Daryl Johnston Moose
36 David Ortiz Big Papi
37 David Robinson The Admiral
38 D’Brickashaw Ferguson Brick
39 Deion Snaders Neon
40 Dennis Boyd Oil Can
41 Dennis Rodman The Worm
42 Dennis Scott 3D
43 Derek Jeter Mr November
44 Desean Jackson Action Jackson
45 Dominique Willkins The Human Highlight Reel
46 Don Mattingly Donnie Baseball
47 Dontrelle Willis D-Train
48 Dulymus Jenod McAllster Deuce
49 Dwight Gooden Doc
50 Dwyane Wade Flash
51 Earl Monrow The Pearl
52 Earvin Johnson Magic
53 Ed Jones Too Tall
54 Edwin Snider Duke of Flatbush
55 Eldrick Woods Tiger
56 Ernie Banks Mr. Cub
57 Evander Holyfield The Real Deal
58 Fernando Valenzuela The Bull
59 Fitz Hall One Size
60 Florence Griffith Joyner Flo-Jo
61 Francisco Rodriguez K-Rod
62 Frank Thomas The Big Hurt
63 Fred McGriff Crime Dog
64 Freddie Mitchell Fred-Ex
65 Gary Payton The Glove
66 George Foreman King George
67 George Gervin Iceman
68 Gilbert Arenas The Hibachi
69 Glen Davis Big Baby
70 Glenn Robinson Big Dog
71 Greg Maddux Mad Dog
72 Greg Norman The Shark
73 Hakeem Olajuwon The Dream
74 Hank Aaron Hammerin’ Hank
75 Harold Grange The Galloping Ghost
76 Harold Minor Baby Jordan
77 Harold Reese Pee Wee
78 Hector Camacho Macho
79 Honus Wagner The Flying Dutchman
80 Howard Johnson HoJo
81 Ian Thorpe Thorpedo
82 Isiah Thomas Zeke
83 Ivan Rodriguez Pudge
84 Jack Nicklaus Golden Bear
85 Jake Plummer The Snake
86 James Jeffries The Great White Hope
87 James Worthy Big Game James
88 Jason Kidd J-Kidd
89 Jason Richardson J-Rich
90 Jason Williams White Chocolate
91 Jason Williams (Duke) J-Will
92 Jerome Bettis The Bus
93 Jerry Rice White
94 Jevon Kearse Freak
95 Jim Everett Chris
96 Jim Hunter Catfish
97 Jimmy Rollins J-Roll
98 Joe Greene Mean
99 Joe Jackson Shoeless
100 Joe Montana Joe Cool
101 Joe Namath Broadway Joe
102 John Elway Mr Ed
103 John Gruden Chucky
104 John Sally Spider
105 John Wooden The Wizzard of Westwood
106 Josh Smith J-Smoove
107 Julius Erving Dr J
108 Karl Malone Mailman
109 Kenn Griffey Jr Junior
110 Kenny Rogers The Gambler
111 Kenny Smith The Jet
112 Kenyon Martin K-Mart
113 Kevin Garnett The Big Ticket
114 Kevin McHale The Black Hole
115 Kiran George Big Smoove
116 Kobe Bryant The Black Mamba
117 Kordel Stewart Slash
118 LaDainian Tomlinson LT
119 Larry Bird The Legend
120 Larry Johnson Grandma-ma
121 Larry Jones Chipper
122 Latrell Sprewell The Landlord
123 Lawerence Taylor LT
124 LeBron James King James
125 Lenny Dykstra Nails
126 Lesyer Hayes The Molester
127 Luis Gonzales Gonzo
128 Mario Lemieux Super
129 Mark McGwire Big Mac
130 Marvin Hagler Marvelous
131 Michael Jordan Air Jordan
132 Mikael Pietrus Air France
133 Mike Krzyzewski Coach K
134 Mike Tyson Iron Mike
135 Mitch Williams Wild Thing
136 Morris Peterson Mo-Pete
137 Muhammad Ali The Greatest
138 Nate Newton The Kitchen
139 Nick Van Exel The Quick
140 Nolan Ryan The Ryan Express
141 Orel Hershiser Bulldog
142 Orlando Cepeda Baby Bull
143 Orlando Hernandez El Duque
144 Oscar De La Hoya Golden Boy
145 Oscar Robertson Big O
146 Ozzie Smith The Wizzard of Oz
147 Paul Bryant Bear
148 Pete Maravich Pistol
149 Pete Rose Charlie Hustle
150 Phil Jackson The Zen Master
151 Phil Mikelson Lefty
152 Quadry Ismail The Missle
153 Rafer Alston Skip to My Lou
154 Raghib Ismale The Rocket
155 Randy Johnson The Big Unit
156 Randy Moss The Freak
157 Ray Allen Jesus Shuttlesworth
158 Ray Lenord Sugar
159 Reggie Jackson Mr October
160 Reggie White The Minister of Defense
161 Regie Bush The President
162 Rich Garces El Guapo
163 Rich Gossage Goose
164 Richard Hamilton Rip
165 Richard Phelps Digger
166 Robert Horry Big Shot Bob
167 Robert Parish Chief
168 Robert Traylor Tractor
169 Roger Clemens The Rocket
170 Rubin Carter Hurricane
171 Sam Cassell I Am
172 Sam Perkins Big Smooth
173 Sammy Sosa Slammin
174 Shaquille O’Neal Diesel
175 Shawn Kemp Rain Man
176 Shawn Marion The Matrix
177 Shawn White The Flying Tomato
178 Shawne Merriman Lights Out
179 Stephon Marbury Starbury
180 Steve Nash Captain Canada
181 Steve Spurrier Head Ball Coach
182 Ted Williams The Splendin Spiinter
183 Terrell Owens TO
184 Tom Brady Terrific
185 Tom Gordon Flash
186 Tomas Hearns The Hitman
187 Toni Kukoc The Croation Sensation
188 Tracy McGrady Tmac
189 Travis Hafner Pronk
190 Vince Carter Vinsanity
191 Vinnie Johnson The Microwave
192 Walt Frazier Clyde
193 Wayne Gretzky The Great One
194 Wayne Rollins Tree
195 Will Clark The Thrill
196 Willie Anderson Flipper
197 Willie Mays The Say Hey Kid
198 Willie McCovey Strech
199 Willie Parker Fast
200 Wilt Chamberlain The Stilt
201 Zydrunas Iigauskas Z


Digg!


The Next Show in San Francisco You Should Be Attending (Shannon Corey @ Grant & Green)

January 11, 2008

Hi all,

My friend Shannon is an up and coming singer/songwriter biased in NYC. I’ve been asking her to perform in San Francisco for a long time and she finally gave into my persistent pestering. She will be playing at Grant and Green in San Francisco on the 31st. The show is free a must see. Shannon has been described as a mix between Tori Amos and a female Ben Folds. She’s really, really good. You can check out here music at http://www.myspace.com/shannoncorey .

If this show goes well, we are (I am) hoping it will generate some bigger shows in the area, thus making Shannon come back soon.

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BCS Championship Game (LSU vs OSU) Live Shit Talking…err…Blogging.

January 8, 2008

Here’s the context. I’m a big Cal (Pac 1o) fan. My friend Rommy is a Penn State (Big 10) fan. Here is our text message conversation about the BCS Championship game between Ohio State and Louisiana State :

Rommy: Big 10 football baby!

Ben: Bitch please! There are 3 teams I would pick over OSU and LSU.

Rommy: OK, we’ll see where Cal is next year, after the “restructuring”.

Ben: What does that have to do with what we were talking about?

Ben: By the way, how was the Rose Bowl this year, last year, the year before that, etc…

Rommy: The Rose Bowl is no Armed Forces bowl or whatever shit bowl you went to.

Ben: Ok Penis State playing in a shitty conference and still having a shitty year.

Rommy: 9-4 isn’t as good as 7-6 with a loss to UCLA. You are a proud fan.

Ben: Indiana, Iowa, Iona, Illinois…am I missing anyone? (Yes, I know Iona isn’t in the big 10)

Rommy: Dude, what other teams should have gone to the National Champ? #3 and #4 lost their bowls. The other ones suck. Maybe USC.

Ben: SC, Georgia, WVU. (Maybe even Kansas)

Rommy: WVU lost, didn’t they?

Ben: Beat Oklahoma big.

Rommy: And Georgia was not bigger than LSU

Ben: They are better. Same record but they didn’t get to play in the SEC championship game. (lost head to head tie breaker to Tenn, who Cal man handle, pre-Longshore injury)

Ben: Big 10 football. Giving up 10 point leads because we have good manners. (LSU 17, OSU 10)

Ben: Big 10 football. Here you have the ball…we don’t want it anymore. (interception by LSU)

Rommy: Cal football. We just suck.

Ben: Oh, this is about Cal now?

Rommy: You don’t have a leg to stand on.

Ben: And the big 10 does? Cal is 4-2 in bowl games in the last 6 years.

Ben: Maybe 5-1. (We are actually 4-1 b/c we were being penalized by the NCAA in Tedford’s 1st year)

Rommy: JoePa. More bowl wins than any other coach. (23-10-1 in 41 years…missed about two bowls a decade)

Ben: Big 10 Football. We’re just happy to be here.

Rommy: Cal football. Hugging trees is so fun.

Rommy: Cal football. We lost to Stanford. (Cal strength of schedule #23, Penn State #65 according to team rankings.com)

Ben: Big 10 Football. Stanford would be a bowl team if they played here.

Rommy: Big 10 football. Ten bowl eligible teams.

Ben: Big 10 football. WE HAVE 11 TEAMS AND ARE CALLED THE BIG 10!

Rommy: Cal Football. We finished in the bottom three of our conference.

Ben: Cal Football. Even out bad year is better than your average.

Rommy: Cal Football. We have no tradition and haven’t been to a Rose Bowl in 50 years.

Ben: Penis State Football. Too old to change our adult diapers, but since our coach sucks, why would we change coaches?

Ben: Penis State Football. At least as goos as your high school team.

Rommy: Penn State. We’ve actually gone undefeated 5 times.

Ben: Haha. Shows how good the Big 10 is. Did you play 5 quarters?

<HALF TIME>

Ben: Even Eddie George said “this is the same game as last year”.

Ben: Wow, just when I was going to give you congrats for forcing a punt… (OSU roughs the punter leading to an LSU score 33-10 now.)

Ben: Big 11 Football. We don’t mind being embarrassed on national television…go ahead…change to subject to Cal.

Rommy: Pac 10 Football. We have one team.

Ben: Big 11 Football. We have no one good.

Rommy: Big 10 Football. We are historically the greatest conference ever.

Ben: Big 11 football. We are the best just ask us…

Ben: But don’t ask the SEC of Pac 10. They always laugh and it hurts our fragile little feelings.

Ben: Congrats. You scored! Now you are only down 2 td’s. (LSU leads by 14 going into the 4th)

Rommy: Pac 10 Football. USC Recruits. Everyone else has drum circles.

Ben: Wow, I can actually see your hopes go up in smoke from my apartment (OSU fumble returned by LSU to the 20).

Ben: Big 10 Football. 3-5 in bowl games this year. 0-2 in the BCS.

Ben: Pac 10 Football. 4-2 in bowl games, with a BCS win.

Ben: But Purdue did beat Central Michigan by 3…congrats.

Rommy: We beat Florida and Texas A&M.

Ben: 4-loss Florida. 6-loss A&M

Rommy: Talk all the shit you want.

Ben: Oh look…another OSU interception.

Rommy: Nate Longshore and Desean Jackson. Most overrated players in college football.

Ben: I couldn’t name anyone on your team and my conference is so clearly better than yours its laughable.

Ben: Not to change the subject, but LSU is killing you conference champion.

Poor Rommy…speaking of not having a leg to stand on. Way to stay loyal to your team and conference no matter how bad they are.

Final score: LSU 38 vs OSU 24.

-b

P.S. This game was really boring as the rest of the BCS was. Let’s have a frickin’ playoff next year.


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